November 18th, (which just so happens to be my Dad and Step Mom's anniversary) we welcomed Luca Scott into the world! I'll save my birth story for another day, but even from the first contraction, every thing was different than with my first. Labor, delivery and life as I knew it was all different. Well, most of it.
During my pregnancy I always worried that I wouldn't be able to love this baby as much as I loved Benson. I know that is a terrible thing, but I think every mom thinks that at some point (or maybe not). Everyone I said that to told me I was crazy. They said it's almost as if your heart will double in size to be able to love both kids just the same, which is A LOT! Well, November 18th at 8:37 am, I learned that it is indeed true. I felt like the Grinch that day... "Well, in Whoville the say- that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day". (For those who don't know me, I love the Grinch)
ANYWAYS. After my heart grew three sizes, the reality set in... I have 2 KIDS! Now what do I do?! Well, in the past 3 months of parenting two kids, I've learned a lot and I'm here to share!
Here are the top 5 things that having two kids has taught me...
1. Enjoy the sleepless nights.
WHAT! I remember crying with Benson because I felt like I would never sleep a full night ever again. Thankfully, that only lasted 6 weeks, when he decided to sleep all night long! With Luca, I took advantage of them. I snuggled him. I stared at him. I enjoyed our peaceful time together, rather than wishing it away. Lord knows that in the morning, it will be back to chaos! Can I get an Amen?! I felt like because I had a whole different attitude about getting up 3 times a night, it made me actually enjoy them! Attitude IS everything.
Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
2. Throw away expectations.
Here is a list of a normal person's daily expectations:- Shower
- Drink hot coffee
- Keep a tidy home
- Eat healthy
- Keep it together in public
Prior to having kids, those were my expectations for myself. After having one kid, I probably achieved 50% of those on a daily basis. With two kids, you can forget everything I just mentioned above. Put a big X right through that list, because it won't happen. At first, it was hard to accept, but let's face it, having two kids is hard!
My dining room table is currently a fort made out of camo sheets (but luckily you can't see it, because it's camouflage 😉). Benson eats Fruit Loops almost every morning. On the mornings that he doesn't, he's inhaling MY hot oatmeal. OH, and going out in public... HA! I mean, my kids are pretty good in public, but you know those stores that have the little kid grocery carts?!?! I DESPISE THOSE STORES! I'd rather cut my leg off than have to push around my big grocery cart (full of groceries and a baby), chase Benson up and down the aisles, pick up all of the display items that he knocks over from his reckless driving, and carry him to the car kicking and screaming because he had to "park" his cart before we left... all while juggling a baby and bags of groceries. Like, seriously. The owners of those stores clearly do not have children. But, at the end of the day, we are all alive and (mostly) well (even if I am stinky, in a dirty home, eating oreos).
Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
3. Call for back up.
You guys, I am not one to ask for help. Like ever. But, I did it. In my last few weeks of pregnancy, I put Benson in day care one day a week. Go ahead and judge me, but, it was exactly what I needed to keep me sane. I also scheduled all of my appointments and ran errands on that day. Now, since having Luca, while Benson is at day care, Luca and I get some one on one bonding time. It's amazing! I had so much one on one time with Benson, which I cherish so much, but having two kids makes it really hard to have that same bond with the second baby! It's also harder to go out on dates with my hubby! We have been able to go out twice since having two kids, which I know doesn't seem like a lot, but it's something! It's so important for Chris and I to have some alone time together and to talk about grow up things, and not "tooting" or "choo-choos"!
Psalm 121: 1-2 "I lift up my eyes to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."
4. Include #1.
Benson is such a sweet little boy. He loves giving kisses to baby Luca and sitting next to him. But, he needs to be included on a deeper level. Luckily, Benson helps me give Luca baths and he throws away dirty diapers and helps me dress Luca. He really is such a big helper and he gets excited about it, because I get excited about it! Plus, it gives me a little break when Benson is being a helpful big bro! I think that including him has seriously eliminated a TON of jealousy issues. Thankfully, we have had very little jealousy up to this point!
Hebrews 13:16 "And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased."
5. Don't forget about yourself.
During my pregnancy with Luca, I was reminded about how important self love is. Being a mom, a lot depends on me! The job of a mother includes SO many roles: house cleaner, cook, nanny, taxi driver, nurse, therapist, etc. It's so easy to lose myself in all of the chaos that is around me, that I forget to take care of myself. Most days, I forget to eat a meal! But, we all know that if Mom is down and out, life basically falls apart. I mentioned in my second point about daily expectations. In reality, I make it a point to shower every day and have a (somewhat) hot cup of coffee. Whether it requires me to wake up 30 minutes earlier than the kids or pushing it off until nap time, I make it a priority for myself. Showering and consuming coffee are two things that keep my head above the ground, so they have to happen. Every. Single. Day. For the sake of everyone!
Psalm 112:7 "She confidentially trusts the Lord to take care of her."
Well, those are my thoughts on adjusting to having two kiddos! It is a hard task, being a mother, but I wouldn't want any other job in the world. There's no greater blessing than being a mama to my two beautiful boys. Thanks for reading!
